Best Fall Date Ideas for Men
Fall is peak mating season for a reason. Higher testosterone and cooler temperatures mean it is time to move on from summer flings and get serious
By Your Bro · · Relationships
NFL football is back on our TVs, and as hurricane season moves in across half of the US, you will start to feel that specific fall crispness in the air. The arrival of hoodies and woodsmoke usually marks the end of hot summer flings and the beginning of something more substantial.
Key Takeaways
Fall triggers biological shifts in testosterone and gene expression that increase the drive for monogamous pairing.
The best dates in autumn utilize "venue shifting" to move from outdoor activity to indoor warmth.
Seasonal dates provide high-context environments that test her personality early on.
Active dates, like hiking or apple picking, beat sitting across a table for an interrogation.
The Biology of the Autumn Hunt
There is a reason you feel the urge to settle down when the leaves change. Data from the dating app Hinge found that men were 15 percent more likely to prowl for women in winter compared to other seasons, making fall the official kickoff for what people now call cuffing season. It is not just the weather. A study on seasonal hormonal variations revealed that men and women have higher levels of testosterone in the fall than at any other time of year. Higher levels of the sex hormone are believed to increase sexual desire in both genders, but interestingly, this often leads toward seeking a partner for the long haul rather than just a weekend.
Naturopathic physician Dr. Jennifer Stagg believes we have a mate-seeking drive in fall that is hardwired into our DNA. Your genetics in October are not quite the same as they are in July. Stagg explains there are roughly 5,000 different genes that appear to be affected by the season, most likely due to the shift in temperature and light. Research from the University of Cambridge has also indicated seasonal DNA changes that impact how hormones get expressed and produced. Since your body is literally telling you to do it, you might as well execute a solid plan for the hunt for your future ex-girlfriend.
The High-Activity Fall Classics
Getting lost in a corn maze or walking through a pumpkin patch sounds like a cliché from a bad romantic comedy, but it works. You can make this a daytime adventure or, if she is up for something spookier, consider a haunted corn maze at night. If corn isn't your thing, skip the generic grocery store bins and pick your own pumpkins at a local farm. Most of these places offer apple cider and cider donuts, which are basically legal crack once the temperature drops below sixty degrees.
Apple picking is another staple for a reason. Visit an orchard and celebrate the arrival of the season by actually doing something with your hands. If you are ambitious, you can attempt to bake a pie afterward. It gives you a reason to bring her back to your place without it feeling like a desperate move. I went apple picking once with a girl who complained about the dirt, the bees, and the lack of cell service for two hours straight. I knew by the time we hit the second row of Honeycrisps that she wasn't the one. Better to find out now than six months into a lease.
Venue Shifting and the Great Outdoors
A walk in the woods is free, but a hike in the country with a purpose is a date. Bring warm blankets, a basket of semi-decent snacks, and boots that can actually handle a trail. This is a good time to test her temperament. Does she handle a wrong turn with a laugh, or does she melt down because her white sneakers got a smudge of mud on them? I have mentioned before that venue shifting is the underrated move that makes her lean in. Starting at a trailhead and ending at a small-town brewery for a seasonal flight is a classic progression.
If you want something lower stakes, take in a football game. Between your high school, college, or NFL teams, you have options and a wide budget range. It allows for casual conversation without the pressure of constant eye contact. If she actually understands the difference between a nickel defense and a holding penalty, she is a keeper. If she just wants to take pictures of her outfit for forty-five minutes, you should probably consult my guide on how to end a date early so you don't waste your entire Saturday.
The Darker Side of Autumn
Many cities offer guided ghost tours of haunted buildings. Even if you do not catch a glimpse of Slimer or Casper, it is a fun way to learn the history of your area. Fear is a powerful physiological trigger. When the heart rate picks up and the adrenaline kicks in, the brain often misattributes that arousal to the person you are with. It is a neat psychological trick that has been documented by the American Psychological Association in studies concerning the misattribution of arousal.
If looking for ghosts feels too childish, try a cider or wine tasting at a vineyard. There is a certain gravity to a lush vineyard in the late afternoon. It feels adult. It feels permanent. It is the opposite of a sweaty basement bar in July. Just make sure you are not the guy who gets too drunk and starts explaining his theory on why the local team should have drafted a different quarterback.
Why Standards Still Matter
Just because the weather is getting cold and your hormones are peaking doesn't mean you should settle for the first woman who owns a scarf. Fall is the time to be discerning. You are looking for someone who can handle the seasons of life, not just the easy summer months. I have written before about dating in today's broken world, and the advice remains the same: stop playing games and be the man who leads the interaction. If you are taking her to a haunted house or a vineyard, own the plan. Do not ask her what she wants to do five times in a row through a text thread.
The goal is to move beyond the superficial. A pumpkin patch won't save a bad personality, but it will give you a backdrop to see who she actually is when the sun goes down and the wind picks up. Use this time to build a foundation. If she is the type to enjoy a cider donut in the woods, she might be the type to stand by you when things get actually difficult.
What To Do This Week
Check the schedule for a local orchard or pumpkin patch within a 45-minute drive.
Verify your hoodie and boot game is up to par so you don't look like an overgrown middle schooler.
Identify a local high school or college football game if the NFL ticket is out of your budget.
Pick one of these ideas and invite her with a specific time and location—do not ask for her input yet.
Keep your head on straight, watch the game, and enjoy the cooler air while it lasts.
Your Bro
—Your Bro