How to Host a Guys Night (the Easy Way)
Every guy you know wants a guys night, and almost none of you will pick a date. The easy version is a repeatable night at your place, with 4 guys and almost no planning.
By Your Bro · · Self Improvement
It's Saturday at 7:30 and you're already negotiating with yourself. You told 2 guys last month you'd have them over, then the week got busy, then you stared at the group chat … and closed it without typing a word. The house is quiet, the game is on and your social life for the night is a comment thread under a highlight clip. A lot of men are living that same Saturday, over and over, while telling themselves they'll get everybody together soon.
When was the last time 4 guys sat in your living room without a birthday or a Super Bowl attached to it? If you have to think about it that long, you're the guy I've been writing to. Friendships after 30 don't usually blow up. They fade because nobody picks a date, which I covered in why men lose their friends. Hosting is how you stop the fade, and it is a lot less work than the version you've been picturing.
Somebody has to pick the date
Every friend group has 1 man who actually sends the text, or it has nobody and the group slowly disappears. If your crew doesn't have that guy, it's you. It'll feel a little needy the first time, and that feeling is almost entirely in your head, because most men are relieved when someone else does the organizing. They'll show up as long as all they have to do is say yes. I wrote about this in how to find male friends after 30, and a poker night on the first Thursday of every month still beats "let's do this again soon" by a mile.
Keep the night easy to repeat
The Hangover made guys night look like a lost weekend in Vegas, and that's part of why a lot of husbands never put one on the calendar. Their wives hear those 2 words and picture a tiger in the bathroom. You can skip all that. 4 guys, something to do with your hands and a time that already lives on the calendar will do the job. Poker on the dining table works. So does wings and a game, a fire pit out back, or somebody grilling burgers while everybody stands around pretending to help.
The easy way is the repeatable way. First Friday or the second Thursday, whatever slot your house can actually protect. Put it on the calendar the same way you'd put a dentist appointment there, tell your wife the date before you tell the guys, and then send 1 text: "Poker at my place the first Friday of every month, 7:30, I'll have pizza and beer, just bring yourself." That's the whole invitation. Don't ask people what night works, because 6 grown men will never agree and you'll spend 2 weeks negotiating a night that still gets cancelled. You pick, they show up or they don't, and the ones who want it will start guarding that night too.
Pro tip: start smaller than you think. 4 guys beats 10, because 10 turns into a party and a party is a lot of work. You're trying to build a habit, not impress anybody. Tell your wife the plan before the group text goes out (hint: "first Friday at our place, done by 11" lands a lot better than her finding out from a notification). Keep it to a few men in your house, eating food, talking and heading home at a decent hour so everybody can still function tomorrow.
If you don't have a crew yet
If your local list is thin, go build it first. A running club or a gym crew is the easiest on-ramp I know, and I laid that out in why every man should join a running club. Then, once you've got a couple of those faces, bring the night to your house so it doesn't depend on a gym's hours.
What to do this week
Pick the next date you can actually keep, even if it's 3 weeks out. Text 4 guys tonight with the date, the time and the activity. "Poker at my place Friday the 21st at 7. I'll have pizza and beer, just show up." That's enough. If one of those guys has gone quiet on you, the invite doubles as a check-in. I wrote about that simple habit in the Bro Chat Check In With Your Buds, and at least 1 guy on your list needs to hear from you.
The first one will feel a little awkward, the same way the first week at a new gym does. Somebody will cancel, the house won't look perfect and you'll probably buy too much pizza. Run it anyway, and put the next date on the calendar before they walk out the door so you don't have to summon the courage to host all over again next month.
If you want a brotherhood while you get that first night on the calendar, come join us in The Forge. It's $49 a month, and it's full of men who are working on the same stuff you are, so you'll have guys in your corner while you become the one who actually hosts.