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Health

Beat swamp ass today!

It’s a hot one. The temperatures are soaring and the humidity is off the charts. Flowers are blooming, birds are chirping, the days are getting longer and the nights are getting more interesting.

Beach bums are hitting the surf and sand on a daily basis. Business guys take advantage of the spring rooftop bar scene while they check out the ladies wearing close to nothing.

It’s exciting because it’s a time to meet new people, hook up, fall in love, and have some laughs along the way. For guys living in more humid climates, like New York, Miami, and Philly, it’s also a time to begin dreading “swamp ass” again. That’s right. It can be so dreadful that it can send a guy home early for the evening due to either the discomfort or the insecurity that it can cause. We’ve all been there… It starts with some light perspiration down the back, and ends with your boxers being drenched like you just sat in a puddle.

What a gross feeling. And not only is it gross, but it could end up killing your vibe and cock blocking you if you end up connecting with a hottie on your night out. It’s not like you can hide the fact that your ass and boxers are wetter than a puddle. So, aside from completely avoiding the great outdoors, how do you avoid this humidity-created monster?

There are a couple key tricks to keep you cool and dry during the warmer months. First, the obvious one: powder your boxers/briefs. Get a bottle of talcum powder and lightly cover the interior of your undies. It’ll keep you nice and dry for a bit, and it’ll buy you some time.

If you’re concerned that having powdery fresh privates will hurt your ability to close, don’t sweat it (no pun intended), as we have another solution for our perspiring brothers. Try buying some moisture absorbing, cool underwear. The best ones we’ve been able to find are the Airism boxer briefs by Uniqlo, and the Ejis Sweatproof Boxer/Briefs. They’re super thin, stretchy, and they keep you cool while absorbing a ton of moisture. Uniqlo also makes undershirts that serve the exact same purpose so that you don’t walk around with massive back or pit stains during the summer months. Highly recommended for sweaty bros out there.

The last tip is not as efficient, but still does the trick, depending on what you’re carrying or where you end up. Guys that carry a briefcase or a backpack could absolutely use this as their “go to”. Carry a spare pair with you in your bag and change in the bathroom when you have a second. Nothing beats having a fresh, clean option.

Other than these three tricks, we are fresh out of solutions, as Mother Nature usually gets the best of any man. If powder, moisture absorbing undies, or carrying a fresh pair doesn’t work, your sweaty ass is bound to be swampy through Labor Day.

– Your Big Bro