Dating is awkward, especially leading up to the first kiss. I get it; you have lots of reasons to hesitate before touching your date or making a move. The conversation could be great and maybe you don’t want to ruin the momentum. It’s possible you’re unsure if she’s into you, and you don’t want to embarrass yourself and get rejected. Plus, with the #metoo movement more prevalent than ever, you might not want to take the risk. We get it.
There is a tried and trusted technique to alleviate much of this uncertainty and help your chances of hooking up tonight. It’s called the “kino escalation ladder” and its purpose is to make your touch increasingly more comfortable to your date, which should eventually lead to hooking up. “Kino” comes from the word “Kinesthetic” and it means that of a physical feel.
Before we jump into the specifics of the ladder, it’s important to emphasize that eye contact is key at the outset. I’m not talking about creepy, lingering eye contact, but confident, intermittent eye contact showing that you are sure of yourself, attracted to her, and connected. As you plunge deeper into conversation and get to know each other, it’s imperative that you supplement these good vibes with touch.
– Shaking hands, tapping on shoulder, tapping on the arm or elbow, touching to emphasize points, high five
– Holding hands, arm in arm escorting
This breaks the ice and opens up the door for more touching. You’ve gotten the awkwardness somewhat out of the way, and the barrier has been opened.
– Legs touching while standing and sitting, brushing abdomen while talking, touching her back with your palm while pulling her in
– Hugging, escorting with hand on back, putting her legs over yours while sitting, holding her tummy on the side while sitting and talking, placing her hand on your thigh
Level two has a much more sexual feel. Some of the areas you touch are erogenous zones; also know as hot spots. This is going to have her thinking about hooking up with you.
– Brushing something off her face, talking while touching her face to yours because it’s loud where you are, etc, touching her necklace, pinching her cheeks
– Placing your head on your shoulder, smelling her neck, stroking her face with finger looking in her eyes, running your fingers through her hair while looking in her eyes, holding the side of her neck looking in her eyes
In level three, you’re teasing a make out session without actually kissing her. These are all of the other PG-rated actions that go along with a make out session. It’s basically a warm up as you both get comfortable with being up close and personal.
Brief points to remember:
– Touch to emphasize points, brush her abdomen while talking, touch her back while walking, brush something off her face, pinch her cheeks. When seated: put her legs over yours, hold her tummy on the side, place her hand on your thigh. Place your head on shoulder, smell her neck, stroke her face, run your fingers through her hair, hold the side of her neck.
** Level 4 **
Ready to make your move? Lean in 90% of the way, just like Hitch said. If it continues to get hot and heavy, the last phase is “the ramp”.
The “Ramp” should be done in an isolated location, not completely out in public as a form of obvious PDA.
– Once kissing from close, move in as to kiss then pull away to say something else, which builds tension. Place your finger under her chin and pull mouth towards you.
– Kiss her neck gently while holding her close, possibly biting.
– After kissing her mouth & neck, move your hands under her shirt on her back.
– Move your hand to the front under her shirt, lift her shirt, lift your shirt as well and touch abdomens.
– If kissing her body, position yourself in-between her legs so your midsection rubs against special place. If kissing her mouth, position your thigh to stimulate her special place. You can also plant your hand on the bed below her, using forearm to stimulate her special place.
Good luck out there, gents.
– Your big bro