Dating can be awkward, especially leading up to the first kiss. Understandably, you have many reasons to hesitate before touching your date or making a move. The conversation could be great and maybe you don’t want to ruin the momentum. It’s possible you’re unsure if she’s into you, and you don’t want to embarrass yourself and get rejected. Plus, with the #metoo movement more prevalent than ever, you might not want to take the risk. Men who are successful with women know you can use kino escalation to make your touch more natural.
Made famous by Neil Strauss’ “The Game”, the kino escalation ladder is a trusted technique which alleviates uncertainty and helps your chances of a successful interaction. Using kino escalation makes your touch increasingly more comfortable to your date, which eventually leads to hooking up. “Kino” comes from the word “Kinesthetic” and it means that of a physical feel.
Before we jump into the specifics of the ladder, it’s important to emphasize that eye contact is key at the outset. I’m not talking about creepy, lingering eye contact, but confident, intermittent eye contact showing that you are sure of yourself, attracted to her, and connected. As you plunge deeper into conversation and get to know each other, it’s imperative that you supplement these good vibes with touch.
Casual Touch: Kino Escalation Level 1
In phase one, you want to break the awkward barrier of not touching. Use some casual moves to do this, like shaking hands, tapping her on the shoulder, arm or elbow. While talking, you can touch her to emphasize points, or even high five her.
As you bond, you can holding hands or walk arm in arm with her while escorting her around. This breaks the ice and opens up the door for more touching. You’ve gotten any weirdness out of the way, and the barrier has been opened.
Kino Escalation Level 2
The second level builds upon the momentum casual touching has generated and gets you both feeling more comfy with each other. If you’re seated, you want to be in the correct position so that your legs can easily touch. Whether standing and sitting, try brushing her abdomen while talking, or touching her back with your palm while pulling her in.
To continue to move the momentum forward, you can try any of the following: hugging, putting her legs over yours while sitting, holding her tummy on the side while sitting and talking, or placing her hand on your thigh.
Clearly, level two has a much more sexual feel. Some of the areas you touch are erogenous zones, also know as hot spots. This is going to have her thinking about hooking up with you.
More Intimate: Kino Escalation Level 3
Level three involves touching some of her more sensitive and intimate areas. Try brushing something off her face or talking while touching her face to yours because it’s loud where you are. You can also opt to touch her necklace or pinch her cheeks.
Some other moves involve placing your head on your shoulder and smelling her neck. To bring the interaction closed to hooking up, stroke her face with your fingers as you look into her eyes, or run your fingers through her hair while holding a deep gaze. You can also hold the side of her neck while staring into her eyes
In level three, you’re teasing a make out session without actually kissing her. These are all of the other PG-rated actions that go along with a make out session. It’s basically a warm up as you both get comfortable with being up close and personal.
Brief points to remember:
Touch to emphasize points, brush her abdomen while talking, touch her back while walking, brush something off her face, pinch her cheeks. When seated: put her legs over yours, hold her tummy on the side, place her hand on your thigh. Place your head on shoulder, smell her neck, stroke her face, run your fingers through her hair, hold the side of her neck.
The Ramp: Level 4
Ready to make your move? Lean in 90% of the way, just like Hitch said. If it continues to get hot and heavy, the last phase is “the ramp”. This should be done in an isolated location, not completely out in public as a form of obvious PDA.
Once kissing from close, move in as to kiss then pull away to say something else, which builds tension. Place your finger under her chin and pull mouth towards you Kiss her neck gently while holding her close, possibly biting. After kissing her mouth & neck, move your hands under her shirt on her back. Move your hand to the front under her shirt, lift her shirt, lift your shirt as well and touch abdomens.
If kissing her body, position yourself in-between her legs so your midsection rubs against special place. If kissing her mouth, position your thigh to stimulate her special place. You can also plant your hand on the bed below her, using forearm to stimulate her special place.
Good luck out there, gents.
– Your big bro