10 Ways to Get to Know Her Better

By Andy Boyd

Are you trying to get to know your partner better? Are you curious to find out what mysteries lie behind her perfect exterior? If you are wondering who your girlfriend really is, there are a few steps that you can take to clarify that.

1. Look beyond the small talk

While this might not be the first thing to go for when trying to know a person, it can carry a lot more weight than mere words. Your girl can answer all the questions you want, but when it comes down to it, you need to look at the way she acts and treats you.

Nothing has more value than somebody’s actions. Is your partner really behaving like the person she described herself to be? Are you someone she prioritizes in her life, or are you merely number 5 or 9 on her list? Does she really care about you as much as she says or not? Like it or not, you have to analyze these aspects to truly get to know her.

2. Address difficult subjects

If you’re in this relationship with the hopes of finding someone you want to marry and be with long term, you need to throw fear out the window and speak about what is serious for you. 

You should think about your dealbreakers and bring them up into conversation. Whether it’s religion, moral values, views on cheating and open relationships, or wanting children, you need to put these things out there before getting too serious. Whatever it is, you need to know these things before deciding if she is a wife-material.

3. Meet her family

Another great way to discover who a girl or woman really is is by getting information from her family. Sometimes, just noticing how she interacts with her family can speak louder than words as well. 

Family members are generally very eager to share personal details (often comically embarrassing) about each other with new boyfriends. Also, suppose you are a person who cares a lot about aspects such as family bonding and family time. In that case, this is a vital element in your research.

4. Ask her about her hobbies

You can discover a great deal about a person by merely learning what she likes to do in her spare time. She might enjoy spending most of her time alone, reading books, or cooking. She might be into sports and the outdoors more than the club scene, so that can tell you a lot in terms of compatibility as well. 

They might seem like general aspects, but these questions can reveal her true personality. Knowing these types of things can help you a lot when considering your future together and how it would look like, so they are essential.

5. Discover her dislikes

Just as essential as knowing what your girlfriend likes are the things and activities she does not love. Whether we are talking about basic stuff like hating pickles or more severe issues (such as zero-tolerance for being lied to), every detail counts. 

Uncovering your partner’s dislikes is truly vital in the process of getting to know who she really is as a person. It is also an excellent way for you to avoid any possible dealbreakers that could end you up in a lot of trouble. Or, worse, on the ghosting list.

6. Flirt with her

Asking your girlfriend personal questions is the most straightforward way to get to know her better. While you can always inquire about serious topics, light and playful questions can also disclose a lot about a person and they won’t feel like a job interview. In fact, asking flirty questions can be just as effective as focusing on a deep subject.

Your girlfriend’s reaction to those questions is just as important as the answer itself, so make sure to take that in as well. Does she appear affronted, or is she laughing back at you? Check for every sign if you want to get to know her better.

7. Learn about her past relationships

Knowing how your girlfriend’s past relationships were like can help you understand why she acts the way she does and her particular views on life.

This can be really tricky and challenging to tackle at the beginning of a new relationship. However, if you have been together for more than just a few weeks, it will naturally come to a point where the topic will crop up. Don’t be afraid to delve into the subject because it can reveal a whole lot than you might initially expect.

8. Talk about her job

Does your girlfriend like the place she works at, or is it just a source of money for her? What is her dream job? Is her career more important than anything else, or is it the other way around? 

Many tidbits on this subject can help you discover the person behind the mask, so it’s worth discussing them as soon as possible. If you are the type of person who wants an independent partner and hates clingy women who want to spend most of their time with you, it’s even more crucial to address these questions.

9. Get to know her friends

Since you are committed to investigating as thoroughly as possible, going out with her and her friends is a must in discovering other sides to your partner. You will probably notice her behavior changing quite drastically compared to when she is alone with you or any other people. That’s most likely because she is most comfortable among the people she has 

chosen as her “pack”.

There will be no need to put up a front when they are around, so you should pay great attention to how she behaves around them.

10. Spend time with her

The best way to get to know a person is by spending time together.  Whether you choose to watch tv on the couch in your living room, go on dates, or help her out in the kitchen, you can observe a lot of aspects of your girl’s personality by doing so.

Different situations and scenarios trigger different reactions, so it is easy to get answers without asking questions. This is the perfect option for those who prefer to observe and are not keen on interrogating others.

Either way, there are multiple approaches you can use to get closer to your girlfriend and discover her true personality. Just make sure to consider the above steps in doing so, and you will quickly achieve this.


Andy Boyd

Andy is a storyteller who loves good books and good jokes. In the rare moments he isn’t writing, you can find him jogging in the park or perfecting bbq ribs. He is a contributing author at GoDates and several other online magazines.