Rules for Life

Stop Crying. You Live in the Best of Times.

Are you tired of it?: The constant complaints about everything from cartoons, commercials and songs to hairstyles, clothing and exercise bikes being sexist, racist and prejudiced? Social justice warriors crying on social media about how things are unfair or weighted against them? Raging lunatics spewing nonsense about our society being so terrible and conditions so miserable? I certainly am.

Before you start with the “ok boomer” bullshit; I’m a millennial. An 80’s baby. I’ve seen life before and after the internet. It’s clear we live in a spoiled society here in America; one that doesn’t really understand true racism, sexism, tyranny, oppression, poverty or evil. Maybe people truly don’t know or understand history, or possibly they don’t care. They need to know that they’ve got it good if they’re alive today.

While racists, sexists and bigots still exist (and always will), they aren’t present in nearly as large numbers. Any policies they may have supported at a government or societal level are long gone. Sure, as with anything requiring human decision, there is bias, preferential treatment, and probably some prejudice in all sectors, but today’s America is far better than the one our grandparents and parents experienced. Most people I come across seem to be good and honest, without a racist bone in their body. Maybe the problem lies in the fact that the media gives a disproportionate amount of attention to extremist behavior and incidents.

African Americans aren’t being forced to use separate water fountains, nor attend different schools. Women aren’t forbidden from voting, working, or holding a C-level position. Homosexuals can get married and even adopt children. People with disabilities have more opportunities than ever, and with the emergence of new technologies things are simpler and faster. Companies are hiring “diversity officers” to ensure the culture is fair and balanced. Oh, and we’ve already had a black President. Living in America – gotta love it!

A recent poll revealed half of millennials believe their generation has faced the worst economic environment. I guess they missed school during the lesson on the Great Depression, a ten year period where 20% (15 million) of people were unemployed, half of banks closed, and the ones lucky enough to keep jobs saw their incomes decrease by 30%. My grandfather lived through this time, meaning it wasn’t very long ago. Today, unemployment is at its lowest rate in fifty years, meaning more people are working than ever before.

I’m sorry you decided to attend the out of state school with the great party scene just to get away from your “terrible” parents, but that $100,000 loan you took out actually IS your responsibility. Accountability is part of becoming an adult, and if you’re crying about an unpaid loan, blame yourself. There are very affordable options for someone that actually wants to get an education instead of pledging for the hip fraternity at the university across state lines. Defer your loans if you’re unemployed; they’ll work with you to lower your payments if you can’t afford them. Wishing they will disappear is juvenile and selfish, not to mention unrealistic. Pay your bills and make better choices in the future, because crazy Uncle Bernie isn’t coming to save you.

Want to be successful? You can teach yourself to do anything via online courses or YouTube, and you can make lots of money doing it. Kids are making millions of dollars posting videos of themselves opening toys. Video games are paid professional sports now. It’s the first time in human history where people have equal opportunities for success no matter age, race, gender, size, nationality, physical strength or intelligence. Things today are set up for anyone with a good idea, strong work ethic, or both, to succeed. The internet is both the great equalizer and the great opportunity creator.

You live in a time where YOU have access to the world’s knowledge at your fingertips, and it’s available twenty four hours per day. You can summon a personal chauffeur to pick you up and drop you off wherever you want, whenever you want. Any music, movie, book or television program is available on demand, in high quality, wherever you are as long as you have a mobile device, which are extremely affordable these days. All types of cuisines are available to be delivered to your doorstep and any time of the day. Food allergies? Don’t worry, we’ve got alternatives that taste just as good. Oh, and it doesn’t just stop with food. Pretty much every product you’d ever imagine buying is available in the same manner.

Worried about diseases? Americans haven’t faced a plague in ninety four years, and our doctors have expertise in all categories, meaning they can probably diagnose you no matter what you’ve got. Medicines and treatments have been developed for nearly every ailment, since the world’s brightest scientists are constantly working towards defeating earth’s deadliest germs, infections and viruses. Healthy food options are readily available in stores and online, as are physical fitness gyms, classes, trainers and activities. If you’ve got some dough, you can summon a virtual personal trainer to your home.

Is money tight? You can find more ways than ever to earn extra bucks. Drive your car for cash (Uber). Run errands for someone (Taskrabbit). Sell a variety of services all around the world (Upwork) Take surveys for cash (SurveyJunkie). Invest in anything you want, in real time (Coinbase, E-Trade). If life threw some serious, tragic curveballs your way, you could always resort to setting up a GoFundMe. If you need money to start an interesting new business, set up a crowdsourcing campaign. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

Sick of being lonely? Find a date within minutes (Bumble, Tinder) without having to pay fees for a dating service. Shit, you can even find people to cuddle with (cuddlecomfort) if you’re not feeling freaky. Miss your family? FaceTime or Skype them instantly, which was something only seen on Star Trek in the 60’s. Want to go see them in person? Book a flight, hotel, room, bus, train, helicopter, private jet, ferry, boat, or car at the lowest rate, instantly via several travel apps. Take advantage of travel and credit card rewards programs, and you can get the trip for next to nothing. You can even rent your home for extra cash while you’re gone (AirBnB). Or, if humans aren’t your thing and you really just want to pet a dog or cat, you can do that too (Bark’N’Borrow).

If your crazy family stresses you out and causes you emotional issues, talk to a therapist in real time. Need to vent? Take to Twitter, Medium, or Facebook to let it out, without being jailed like you would in some other countries because we actually allow free speech here. For those who want less talk and more action, meditate your problems away. Maybe you’d prefer alternatives to medicinal solutions. Order booze (Drizzly) to your doorstep, or any type of cannabis product (in most states). We’ve got a solution for whatever floats your boat.

It’s time for Americans to pause for a moment, look inward, and actually appreciate what we have and where we live. You’re free to pursue your passions in a place that provides you all the infrastructure you’ll ever need. You’re living in the best of times, where if you truly want to achieve your goals, you can find a means to do so. There shouldn’t be much to complain about! And if there is, find a solution instead of crying about it. As the late, great “Godfather of Soul” James Brown said:

How does it feel when there’s no destination that’s too far, and somewhere on the way you might find out who you are? Living in America – eye to eye, station to station. Living in America – hand to hand, across the nation. Living in America – got to have a celebration.

– Your Big Bro