In case you needed another reason to root for full-on societal collapse, They / Them “came out” this week. The film was released straight to streaming, much like the diarrhea it was inspired by.
Kevin Bacon shines like bedazzled caca in this Oscar-quality horror romp, delighting Peacock audiences since going live August 5. It features everything you never knew you needed, including:
- Antagonists purposefully using incorrect pronouns to establish their nefarious ways
- A conversion therapy attendee-turned-serial killer who takes revenge on homophobes
- More sideshow freaks than a Ripley’s museum
I won’t beat further around the bush. Instead, I’ll just post the first paragraph from Wikipedia’s plot summary:
At night, a mysterious figure kills an adult driving to a conversion camp known as Whistler Camp. In the morning, a group of LGBTQ people arrive at Whistler Camp, run by Owen Whistler. He introduces the camp as an inclusive safe space and promises that they will not try to forcefully convert them. Owen separates the campers into cabins for boys and girls, but Jordan, who is trans and non-binary, is not comfortable going to either. Owen assigns Jordan to the boy’s cabin. The group comes together in a circle and shares why they came to Whistler Camp. Jordan says they made a deal with their religious family to attend for a week so they could legally emancipate themselves. The next morning, Owen criticizes and outs another member, Alexandra, for not sharing that she is trans. He makes her go to the boy’s cabin for dishonesty. Alexandra later convinces the camp’s new nurse, Molly, to give her Estradiol, an estrogen hormone.
So the audience is force-fed 101 minutes of this poopwater, which was surprisingly written and directed by John Logan, who penned classics like Gladiator and The Aviator. Whoops. Maybe “exploitative queerbait” just isn’t your genre, Johnny Boy.
Yep, They / Them is a tranny-laced tour-de-force so horrible that even mainstream critics, usually the champions (apologists) of all things virtue signaling, struggled to recommend it. Fret not, SJW family, because the reviewers made sure to compliment the progressive story and social commentary. Basically the movie was bad, not the idea.
Right.
Before naysayers jack this review off as toxic male opinion (read: “free speech I don’t agree with”), the only thing we’re lambasting here is piss-poor cinema under the guise of inclusivity and anti-conservatism. It’s horror, that’s for sure, for all the wrong reasons.
Reminder about our brave LGBT heroes: Trans women are 66 times more likely to have HIV compared to the general population, with trans men nearly 7 times more likely. Four in 10 trans women have HIV in select cities. One study found that half of all transgender prisoners are sex offenders. Sexual violence within lesbian relationships was found to be as high as 55%. Hey John, are you sure this is the group you’re looking to deify? (Author’s note: You’d be shocked – or not – to hear how hard it was to find these statistics and articles. Google effectively burned these books and buried the results under LGBT hate crime and victimization studies. Thanks to DuckDuckGo for keeping it real.)
Entering Manhood is delighted to give this masterpiece the same designation as a gay man’s dream sex conquest: straight ass.
-FR Chesterfield