road rage incident
Rules for Life

Spilling Over: Preventing Road Rage

I’m sure you see them all the time on Instagram and TikTok. Video after video of dudes raging
out over dumb stuff on the road. I saw one the other day where this genius brings his car to a
stop, blocks the road, get’s out with a gun, and starts yelling at the driver who’s recording the
whole thing. Can we do more to be preventing road rage? Is this example the best we’ve got?

The enraged driver never really left his driver’s door and never pointed the gun at the other
driver. He just wanted the driver to know he was angry… and has no self-control. I feel like in
most road rage cases, the angry driver isn’t really that mad about the situation. There’s a whole
host of other life events that have left him with no capacity to deal with a driving mistake.

Preventing Road Rage from Spilling Over

When we look at our stress level, think of it as a cup. Depending on your stage of life, mental
health, and coping abilities your cup may be larger or smaller than other people’s. But the stress
of our day adds liquid to our cup.

If you don’t drain that cup, eventually the liquid will spill over, everywhere, because you just
can’t deal with it anymore. When men spill over, it can turn violent. That’s important for us to

Things like getting called on the carpet at work or your wife getting mad about you not taking out
the trash – will fill your cup higher and higher. Then some mouth-breathing moron who got their
driver’s license from Walmart cuts you off on the freeway and now you’re ready to turn your
truck into a weapon and smash them off the road for the blatant disrespect to your SOVEREIGN


Take a knee, buddy.

Is a teenager panicking over missing her exit a disrespect to your sovereign manhood? No, I
think we all agree it’s not. Do you even think that young girl knew your gender when she
changed lanes? Probably not. Did she know you’d had a crappy day where you missed the
opportunity to share your opinion? No, she didn’t. She’s just trying to get to work.

But if your cup is full, you might act out against her because you feel that you’ve been wronged
and have to make yourself known. You didn’t stand up to the boss or your wife, but you can
activate ape mode on a driver you don’t know.

I’m no therapist and I can’t help you with your anger issues. But I can tell you to watch your cup.
How stressed do you feel? How mad are you? Can you feel your heart beating faster? These
are all good things to be aware of before you drive home.

Road Rage Will Cost You

I don’t want you to have a bad day, road rage out on some stranger, and then wind up in jail for
it. Not only are you in cuffs, but by the time you’re fingerprinted your angry face is all over
TikTok. Your boss will see it and your wife will see it. Things just got worse.

When you’re sitting in a cell at the police station you’ll finally realize that you messed up. Not the
kid in the other car. It was you. You may try to blame your boss, your wife, or the Chargers for
not beating the spread, but it’s on you big man. Your cup spilled over and it cost you a lot.
Keep in mind you make mistakes, too. Or you may be the father of a teenage driver who might
make a mistake. Would you want some random dude going ape on your kid?

If you’re reading this I know one thing about you, you want to make yourself better. Watching
your stress levels and minding your cup will keep you from raging out not only on the road but at
home and at work.

So let’s set the standard for other men to look up to. Keep your cool behind the wheel, manage
that stress, and be the bigger man. We’re all in this together, gents.

-Andy Murphy, The Secure Dad

About the author:
Andy Murphy founded The Secure Dad in 2016 with the mission to help families live safer,
happier lives. Andy works to help Protector Parents secure their families at home, online, and in
public. To help you manage the stress of a car accident, Andy created this checklist for what to
do after a wreck. He knows it works because he used it last summer!