Society loves slapping labels on people, and one of the most concerning is “creepy.” Creeps are unattractive, weird, and associated with perversions. As such, lots of men have challenges overcoming the fear of being labeled as creepy when approaching women. Society’s changing dynamics and evolving norms have led to hesitations and uncertainties among men, making it crucial for us to explore this issue and offer some guidance.
Research on The Fear of Being Seen as Creepy
It’s important to distinguish between expressing genuine interest and making others uncomfortable. Blaire Anderson, an online dating coach, conducted extensive research to shed light on the distinction between being perceived as “creepy” versus simply expressing interest. Anderson’s surveys, which included responses from 2,000 American women aged 18 to 40, aimed to identify behaviors that fall into the “creepy” category. Simultaneously, she surveyed 1,000 American men in the same age range to gauge their fears and concerns about approaching women.
The findings were insightful. The surveys revealed that women frequently encounter creepy behaviors, with 82 percent reporting experiencing such behavior “sometimes,” “often,” or “constantly.” Unsurprisingly, there is indeed a need for sensitivity and awareness in our interactions. It is noteworthy that men, too, expressed fears about being perceived as creepy.
Astonishingly, 44 percent of men admitted that the fear of being labeled as creepy reduces their likelihood of interacting with women in general. Among single men, this figure jumps to 53 percent.
Overcoming the Fear: Behaviors to Avoid
To help men navigate healthy interactions and feel confident in their methods of approaching women, Anderson identified nine (9) behaviors to avoid:
unwanted contact on social media
refusal to accept boundaries
unwanted physical contact
pressure for sex
Subtleties to Avoid
Being mindful of these behaviors can contribute to respectful and mutually satisfying interactions. Some of the tips I’ve learned over the years include the following rules. Firstly, don’t “lurk”, that is, stand in one place for long, particularly with arms crossed. You’re probably just thinking about something, but you look brooding and scheming.
Additionally, avoid standing in doorways when speaking to women, it looks like you’re blocking the exit/entrance.
Be mindful and decisive with your words . Avoid saying “um” or “hmm” too much, as it looks like you’re hiding what you really want to say.
When it comes to body language, touching your face or scratching your chin when you talk can make you appear untrustworthy or mischievous.
Try to minimize time alone in elevators or back rooms with women you don’t know, as they it can leave you vulnerable to false accusations.
The Mindset to Use When Overcoming the Fear
Above all, never “chase” women. Yes, the moment you make her feel like all you think about is her is the moment she finds you less attractive. You are not desperate for her love, attention and affection. Yes, you’re open to finding a partner who complements your life, but you do not need her. Your entire life will change when you take on this perspective.
Being a man, expressing interest, and embracing natural instincts is not wrong nor “creepy.” However, it is crucial to exercise discretion, respect personal boundaries, and approach interactions with a degree of sensitivity. Just don’t worry about being “creepy” for feeling the urges you experience.
After all, humans are designed to reproduce. Repopulating the earth keeps our species alive. The only way to truly repopulate at scale is by having sex. Society has demonized straight men so much that they are now afraid to act upon their natural instincts to repopulate the earth. This works against our interests as a species.
Relationships Make the World Go ‘Round
So, we encourage you to reject the notion of being ashamed or afraid of feeling like a man. Strong, respectful, and empowered men are essential to society’s growth and well-being. Disregard the negative stereotypes perpetuated by some and focus on being a positive force in the world.
Remember, true connection and meaningful relationships are built on mutual understanding, and respect. By being conscious of your actions, you can cultivate an environment where both men and women feel safe and valued, while still being yourself. Take things slow. Build comfort. Most importantly, be yourself. If she’s not into it, move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea!
Embrace your nature, be respectful of others, and let us redefine what it means to approach women in today’s world. After all, the world needs strong men. 💪
-Your Big Bro