This page started in an absolute random way. I was at work when my twenty-two year old assistant, who has since become like a brother to me, asked me a question about what to wear to a “black tie” wedding. I was dumbfounded that this young dude literally had no clue what that meant (hint: it means you have to wear a tuxedo). As I stared at him in disbelief, a bunch of questions entered my mind:
“Is he clueless?”
“Is he joking?”
“Does he realize what he just asked me?”
“Can he actually think for himself?”
“Where did he grow up, Mars?”
And then, it hit me. As much as our personalities are predetermined by our genetics and our soul, we are totally a bi-product of our environment. He asked me a really basic question, but it might not actually be his fault. Maybe he never had any exposure to a black tie affair, or any wedding for that matter. Or maybe nobody ever took the time to teach this poor guy about etiquette at formal events. There’s a chance he never came across this situation or topic. It’s possible his dad, or older male influences (from sports, school, etc.) never had an opportunity to teach him this stuff. Either way, it was my duty to inform this young buck about this, and potentially hundreds of other things relating to becoming a man.
I couldn’t let this promising young man wander through life without knowing the absolute basics. I began to wonder if he had any idea about personal grooming, or how to ask a girl on a date, or how much money to give as a gift at a wedding. Does he know how to get clothes that fit him right, or pick out a cologne? How would he ever advance his career without knowing how to get a promotion? Would he be stuck making a low ball salary if he had no ability to negotiate? He probably has no understanding of how to use a credit card for max value, or what to pack on a vacation/business trip, or what to do when he has to fart in the presence of a female. I determined that he would require some realtalk, probably daily.
The longer I pondered this, the more I felt obligated to share these insights with the masses. I was fortunate enough to have a strong network of men (and women) around me my whole life. Parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, friends, and older guys I looked up to. Dudes I played sports with. Professional guys I worked with. Several men took me under their wing to help me become the man I am today. Not to say I am perfect, because I am far from it… but I know a thing or two about life.
So, instead of donating time or money to some charity, I decided I’d buy a domain name that people could relate to, pay GoDaddy to put up a website, and share my thoughts and insights on the path to becoming a man. If I can help a few bros avoid being seen as the “cheap friend” or the “bad date” or an “bad job candidate”, it’s all worth it. At the end of the day, entering manhood is not easy, and if someone doesn’t teach you shit along the way, it may be more difficult than it should.
If you come back to the page every once in awhile, I hope you’ll learn a thing or two, and have a few laughs along the way.
Take care of yourselves.
– Your big bro