Gratitude: The Practical Advantage of the Grateful Man

Gratitude isn't just for survivors and athletes. It is a psychological tool used by the world's most effective men to maintain focus, health, and dominance

By Your Bro · · Self Improvement

Gratitude: The Practical Advantage of the Grateful Man

You cannot be depressed and grateful at the same time; the two emotions simply cannot reside in the same physical space.

Key Takeaways

The Competitive Edge of Appreciation

Gratitude is one of the most commonly expressed emotions during or after intense moments in one's life. You hear disaster survivors say it, pro athletes mention it after big wins, and award-winning artists proclaim it. Whether they are grateful for the opportunity, their support system, the God they worship, or just being alive, the common theme is almost always gratitude. The power of gratitude is far greater than many people realize, and if more individuals understood how to harness its power, we would undoubtedly be living in a happier society.

Three decades ago, Martin Seligman and colleagues launched the field of "positive psychology," which included the scientific study of emotions such as gratitude, optimism, forgiveness, happiness, compassion, and altruism. At the time, this was a revolutionary idea in the field of psychology since most of the data about human emotion had previously focused on "negative psychology" such as mental illness, trauma, addiction, and stress. What we have learned is that cultivating personal attributes strengthens us during times of adversity and turmoil, leading to greater happiness and resilience.

The Biology of a Grateful Brain

Of all the attributes one can develop, gratitude is most strongly associated with mental health. It is the emotion that allows us to feel and express thankfulness and appreciation. In 2007, Robert Emmons began researching gratitude through a psychological lens and found that expressing gratitude improves mental, physical, and relational well-being. According to research published by the Harvard Health Publishing team, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. It helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.

The benefits are not just in your head. Studies consistently show that being grateful also enhances the overall feeling of happiness, and these effects are usually long-lasting. Benefits include:

I remember a guy I worked with years ago on a construction site. His wife had left him, his truck was on its last legs, and he was working double shifts in ninety-degree heat. Every time we grabbed a water break, he would find something small to mention—the coldness of the water, the fact that his back didn't hurt that morning, or a funny joke his kid told him. At first, I thought he was delusional. Eventually, I realized he was just better at this than I was. He was staying sane by choice while I was miserable by habit.

Rewiring Your Hard Drive

A powerful way to build positivity is by practicing a "gratitude meditation." This method helps to train the mind for greater positivity and happiness. This exercise taps into the brain's ability to be malleable. Research supports the idea that our thoughts have the power to shape our brains. The more conscious we are about perceiving an experience as being positive, the more this perception will generalize to other parts of the brain. Negative experiences tend to stick in our minds like Velcro, whereas positive experiences are more likely to slip away like Teflon. We must work to insert positive experiences into the brain in order for the positive to "stick" and beneficial effects to endure.

This kind of mental discipline is exactly why I believe you should take control of your life before you reach thirty. If you cannot master your own internal narrative, you are just a passenger in your own head. The world is happy to give you reasons to be angry or victimized. Resisting that urge is the mark of a man who has decided to become the leader he was created to be.

The Steve Harvey Method

Before taking on host duties for his nationally syndicated radio show or multiple television programs each day, Steve Harvey spends time with God. He has given people a glimpse into his daily prayer life that begins with gratitude. Every morning, he pulls up the notes section of his phone. He reads a list of things he is grateful for every day before he starts asking for what he wants next. He usually thanks God for about 56 things before asking for about 45. Starting his day with this process has an impact on the way he thinks and feels. According to research from the American Psychological Association, patients with asymptomatic heart failure who kept a gratitude journal for eight weeks showed significantly lower levels of inflammatory biomarkers related to cardiac health than those who did not.

Harvey says, "It causes me to start my day in the right frame of mind. You cannot be depressed and grateful at the same time." He describes it as a particular trick that successful people know. If you are not grateful for the home you do have, why would the universe or God give you another one? You are not even acknowledging the one you've got. Harvey comes from humble beginnings—working as a carpet cleaner, a mailman, and a salesman before becoming a comedian. He learned success the hard way, often living out of his car. If a man can find things to be grateful for while sleeping in a 1976 Ford Tempo, you can find a few things in your current situation.

Practicality Over Sentimentality

Let's be clear: this isn't about being soft or ignoring reality. It is about inventory management. If you only look at your losses, you'll act like a loser. If you keep a firm grasp on your assets, you can leverage them to get more. Gratitude is simply the act of correctly identifying your assets. It is as practical as checking the oil in your car. Many men ignore this because they think it sounds like something found in a gift shop card, but the most lethal men in history—the ones who built the world—were often those who recognized their blessings and used that momentum to conquer the next hurdle.

What To Do This Week

  1. Start a list in your phone notes today. List ten specific things you are glad you have. Don't be vague; "my health" is okay, but "my knees don't click when I squat" is better.

  2. Identify one person you owe a debt of gratitude to and tell them. Don't make it weird or long. A short text or a quick phone call is enough.

  3. Perform a "gratitude reset" during a moment of high stress. When you feel like losing your cool, stop and find three things in your immediate environment that are working correctly.

  4. Commit to reading your gratitude list every morning before you check your email or social media. Control your narrative before the world does.

What are you grateful for today?

—Your Bro