The Couple at the Restaurant and Your Student Loans

Eating a 275 dollar meal and only paying 67 dollars would get you arrested, yet we are being told that skipping out on college debt is a right

By Your Bro · Sun Jun 30 2019 · Self Improvement

A gluten free guy and his lactose free girlfriend decide to make a reservation for dinner at a four star Italian spot. They spent an hour reading reviews to make sure the kitchen could handle their dietary restrictions without killing them.

The $275 Tab

The restaurant has been in business for over fifty years. It has a great reputation for delicious food, the right ambiance, and an excellent wine selection. The couple sits down. They order the expensive wine, the appetizers, the entrees, and even the dessert. Everything is delicious. Everything is satisfying.

After a few hours, the waiter approaches them with the bill: $275, including tax. He gives them ten minutes to settle up. When he returns and opens the leather wallet, he sees $67. That is $208 short. The couple looks him in the eye and says that is all they can afford. When the waiter tells them it is unacceptable and someone has to pay the balance, the young couple suggests that other people who have eaten in the restaurant over the last twenty years can chip in and pay their tab.

It sounds like a comedy sketch. It sounds like a fast track to a jail cell for theft of services. But as a society, we are being asked to accept this exact logic when it comes to student debt relief.

A Choice, Not a Mandate

Going to college can give you an advantage in the workplace. It provides a signal to employers that you can finish something difficult. However, it is not required to be successful. Choosing an expensive private university, complete with out-of-state tuition and dormitory expenses, is a choice. It is a consumption habit, much like ordering a second bottle of Barolo at dinner.

The price tag was fully visible when you signed the papers. Same as the menu. Nobody forced you to spend four years in an expensive city just so you could get drunk and hook up with strangers four nights a week. If you wanted the prestige and the experience, you should have been prepared for the bill. I have spoken before about how your appearance matters in how the world perceives you, and being a man who dodges his debts does not look good on anyone.

The Reality of the Numbers

The scale of this issue is massive. According to research from Pew Research Center, about one-third of adults under age 30 have student loan debt. While the narrative often focuses on the struggling student, the data often shows that those with the highest debt loads frequently hold graduate degrees and have higher earning potential. When the government steps in to "forgive" these loans, it isn't erasing the debt. It is shifting the burden to the people who chose not to go to college, or those who worked three jobs to pay their way through a state school.

I remember a friend from my early twenties. He lived on instant noodles and drove a car held together by duct tape and prayer for five years to pay off his degree. He didn't take vacations. He didn't buy the newest iPhone. When he finally paid it off, he felt a sense of pride that can't be bought. Asking him to now pay for someone else's spring break trip to Cabo, disguised as a tuition loan, is a slap in the face to his discipline.

The Death of Accountability

We are becoming an unaccountable society that expects to be coddled from infancy into adulthood. This type of behavior sets some of the poorest precedents for our nation. If you teach a generation that contracts can be ignored when they become inconvenient, you destroy the trust required for a market to function. Life is about trade-offs. You trade your time for money. You trade your current comfort for future stability.

If you cannot afford something, you do not need it. This applies to the car you drive, the clothes you wear, and the degree you hang on your wall. In my Manhood Manifesto, I talk about how growth only comes through hardship and ownership. Shuffling your bill onto your neighbor is the opposite of growth. It is prolonged adolescence.

The Economic Fallout

The Bureau of Labor Statistics tracks the rising costs of education, which have outpaced inflation for decades. One reason these prices remain so high is the guaranteed flow of government-backed loans. When you subsidize something, you get more of it. When you tell universities that students can borrow an infinite amount of money because the taxpayer will eventually foot the bill, the universities have zero incentive to lower costs. They just build a bigger gym and raise the price of admission.

Encouraging this sets our nation up for failure. We are training men to be consumers instead of producers. A producer knows the cost of his tools and the value of his labor. A consumer just wants the meal without the bill. If you find yourself struggling with your own direction, you need to become the leader you were created to be and start by cleaning up your own financial house.

Pay what you owe. It is the only way to keep your soul and your credit score intact.

—Your Bro