December’s Dad of the Month is @thesearching_scott !
“You can’t raise healthy humans if you aren’t healthy for yourself.”
He’s a former drug addict turned single dad, who cleaned up his life to help his boys become men. Scott believes bad manners, inconsiderate behavior, sloppy habits, anger, negativity, laziness and greed will all rub off onto the kids. Scott says being a dad is the best opportunity to grow. Here is his story:
Being a great Dad begins with fixing yourself. My ex-wife and I divorced when my second son, Forrest (18 months), was only one month old. During this same month, I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease. My physical and mental health crumbled into nothing. I began excessively drinking, burying myself in drugs and neglecting all of my responsibilities as an adult and father. This behavior continued for over 8 months. Then court began and the harsh reality of losing my boys became very real.
I was at a crossroads: continue the destructive behavior and regret my actions forever, or man-up and re-establish a relationship with my boys.
Man-up it was. I sobered up, fought for my boys through the legal system and began pursuing a career within music, fitness and nutrition; although I’m still slaving at a job I dislike. Personal sacrifice has been the best commitment I’ve made for my relationship with my boys. Do what you have to do whether you feel like it or not.
Growing up with a drug addict father who was never involved, I knew I had to break generational trends while my boys are still young. I was always shown what “not to do” never “what to do”.
Monkey see, monkey do. If I’m not healthy, I can’t raise healthy boys. Four eyes are soaking in all of my actions and words. I must model appropriate behavior. Bad manners, inconsiderate behavior, sloppy habits, anger and a negative attitude, laziness and greed will all rub off onto the kids.
Kids develop through playing. We spend almost all of our spare time hiking, swinging at playgrounds, making forts, telling stories, exploring new city-scapes. I give them little to no screen time during their weeks with me. It’s always easier sitting the kids in front of a television or buying them new toys but providing them with life skills, adversity like: hiking in the freezing rain, resilience is taught by not providing all the answers and allowing your kids to make mistakes. Provide some risk. Let the kids fall off the ledge, challenge them by setting up an obstacle course, make them earn the toy they want by making an earn chart and tossing spare change in a jar to teach them saving and patience.
Some kids will be athletic, some will me mathletic. Teach healthy behavior and values to all the personality quirks/types. Don’t force your kid into what you expect them to be! Give your kids freedom to be themselves.
Lastly, don’t be the absent dad and fill all the roles. If you have spare time, fill your schedule with your little humans. They need you. So many of my father friends neglect the “Mom-Roles”. Screw that. Change diapers, endless hugs and kisses, make them food, give baths and dress them.
I’m honored to be part of this community and especially thankful to be selected for “Dad of the Month”! – @thesearching_scott
We salute and appreciate you, Scott! The world needs strong men, and you’re helping raise a generation of them. ?
-Your Big Bro