“Deck Your Balls” This Holiday Season

Deck the halls with boughs of holly, or so the song goes. But what about the family jewels? You’ve got to take care of your balls, too. Manscaping is an essential step in looking your best, and anyone that disagrees will look unkempt and likely smell bad. An unhealthy accumulation of pubic hair down there can have negative consequences.

Pubic hair traps sweat on your body, inhibiting temperature regulation and inducing more sweating. Trapped sweat encourages the development of odor caused by bacteria, which brings about the stink. By not managing the pubes, you are asking for the development of bacterial and yeast infections caused by human waste accumulating in the area trapped by the unshaved pubic hair. These microorganisms thrive in this environment, making manscaping essential for prevention. It also gets rid of disgusting crotch stink, while also acting as the first line of defense towards preventing STDs and STIs.

Manscaping will also help you with the ladies. A Swiss study that asked 105 women to categorize the most crucial elements they consider when ranking penises and named pubic hair as the most important, beating the likes of length, girth, and cosmetic appearance. What does this mean? While you can’t do much about the other factors, regulating your pubic hair is well within your control. It will make your junk more striking to your partner, while improving your sex life. A manscaped manhood is more sensitive to touch, making for better sex.

Try to create a routine keeping your body hair in check, which should take as little as fifteen minutes a month. We’ve broken the body down into specific parts and provided the best manscaping techniques available:

Back hair must be eliminated in all forms. This is the centerpiece of any manscaping routine. We recommend getting your back professionally waxed, or if you have the money, lasered. Your back is impossible to reach with standard razors, so good luck doing it on your own. Aside from convenience, these two options also will prevent men’s back hair removal itchiness, which could be very uncomfortable.

Unless you are chiseled like Arnold in Predator, you should probably avoid complete removal and stick to just trimming your chest hair, which is seen as one of the most masculine, manly physical traits. Chest hair trimming is easy. Take a body buzzer and apply it to the highest setting, which will cut off just a few centimeters. Work the trimmer over your chest and stomach until your hair is the same length and there are no patches.

If you are Zac Efron ripped, then go for the men’s hairless chest look. You have three options here:

  • buzzer at shortest setting, close to the skin
  • disposable body razor
  • wax

All three will create forms of irritation, but the easiest and most manageable is going with the buzzer. If you choose to wax, let a professional do it. Trust me, you don’t want to try this at home.

The one area of manscaping requiring the most razor sharp focus (pun intended) is the groin. We recommend buying a special trimmer for your pubic area, as you don’t want to risk any missteps, which could be very painful. Begin by trimming the hair in the pubic area, always making sure to use a plastic razor guide. The point is not to completely remove hair from your pubic area, but rather trim it so most of the hair is a more manageable length, without any major bushiness.

Once you’ve trimmed your pubic area, jump into the shower for a real quick rinse. This will help soften your skin for shaving the detail areas. Once you’re out of the shower, stand over a towel and shave your pubes by applying a natural shaving cream around the shave area. Always shave with the grain of your hair and only clean up areas that need it – you’re not trying to win an award for best men’s pubic hair. Deck those balls, gents!

-Your Big Bro