Halloween is a few weeks away, dating season is in full swing, and hundreds of people are getting ghosted on a daily basis. Hell, someone is being ghosted right now! We may not want to admit it, but it’s likely we’ve been ghosted in the past, too. It is embarrassing, frustrating and sometimes infuriating.
In an effort to never be ghosted again, and sticking with Halloween’s ghostly theme, here are four ways to ensure you don’t get dropped like a bad habit this fall.
- Keep your product scarce: This one is basic economics. Supply and demand. Scarce products are more desirable and valuable due to their lack of availability. If you make yourself too available, people will take you for granted because you come across as either needy or unpopular. Your time and presence won’t be perceived as valuable as they should be.
- Make future plans while you’re hanging out: Okay, picture yourself out on this great date with this awesome person. You’re several hours into the date, everything is going perfect, and you’ve likely got multiple threads of conversation interwoven within evening. Pick one of these things you’ve discussed, and mention doing it together. Great margarita bar in the neighborhood? Hot new restaurant opening nearby? Friend hosting a birthday party at a cool venue? Throw it out there… not as a formal invitation, but more mention the idea of it. Tease it out. If your date buys in, there’s a good chance you’ll get a response when you follow up with a text about it next week.
- Leave them wanting more: Very similar to keeping your product scarce, leaving them wanting more is the practice of keeping your distance and mystery so that your date will not think they’ve got you figured out. Don’t tell them everything about yourself. Don’t fully open up. Don’t put out too fast, either. People want what they can’t have, and they get bored easily. Once you’ve beaten a video game, how frequently do you want to play it? Make them work for it.
- Mention “ghosting” while you’re hanging out: Huh? What is this some Jedi mind trick? You bet it is. Chances are, the topic of “dating” will come up in your conversation. Take this opportunity to casually mention how you ghosted the last person you went on a date or two with. Add to it that you’ve thought about it more since you did it, and you would never do it again for X, Y, and Z reasons. Basically, this is your opportunity to plant the seed in their mind that ghosting is for fucking cowards.
Good luck out there.
– Your Big Bro