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Rules for Life

“Ghosting” is for Cowards

“Ghosting” is the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. It involves one person cutting off all connection with someone else without any good reason. Simply put, ghosting is for cowards.

I am the first person to say that your decisions are inherently your own, and no explanations or apologies are required for the way you decide to live your life. I stand by that belief, but ghosting does not apply because relationships involve more than just your life. You have connected with someone else and inserted yourself into their life. With that comes an expectation of mutual trust and respect, neither of which are included in “ghosting”.

A relationship is comprised of three identities: you, the other person, and the relationship itself. Starting a relationship with someone creates an interpersonal pact, with both parties trusting that the terms of the pact are to be upheld. Someone who “ghosts” another person is ignoring the pact, proving their word means nothing. The ghoster shows true lack of character, as they do not have the courage to face their partner and own up to their decision to leave the relationship .

People that break deals and run away from problems are spineless cowards, never to be trusted because they take no accountability for their actions and see other people as a means to an end. It implies that people who ghost others do not feel the need to treat other people with decency and respect.

If you do ghost people, stop. You are destroying your reputation, and you are inviting terrible karma into your life. On top of that, the person you ghosted is sure to face serious psychological damage due to being rejected without reason, and lack of closure. You’re spitting in their face and walking away, without ever telling them why.

For those that don’t understand why ghosting is the true mark of a loser, we break it down for you right here:

  1. You have broken your deal with someone, and people that break deals are snakes.
  2. You do not have the courage to face the person you had the pact with because of your own personal insecurities.
  3. You do not take accountability for your actions, showing that you are not a responsible adult.
  4. You believe treating someone subhuman is okay, which everyone knows is wrong.
  5. You lack the exact definition of integrity, making you a worthless piece of sh*t. Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

Be advised, ghosting is not limited to romantic relationships, and has made its way into the workplace. Some job candidates literally cut off communication with the company or person leading the hiring process without even the slightest decency to say “thanks, but no thanks”. Even worse, there are frequent instances of candidates accepting the position and failing to show up for work on day one. No matter what your profession, word gets around and your reputation gets ruined. If you are short-sighted enough to pull a stunt like this, expect to be blacklisted in the future. You will destroy your professional image and people will be hesitant to partner with you.

All of these situations can be avoided by simply treating other people how you’d like to be treated. Follow the golden rule. Step up to the plate, have the honest conversation, and part ways. That conversation does not need to be detailed or in-depth; sometimes a simple “it’s just not right for me” will suffice. Being afraid or hesitant to face confrontation is natural, but it’s irrational to let that fear ruin your good name.

Do the right thing, and don’t ghost.

– Your Big Bro

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