So you’re really into this new girl and you feel yourself falling for her. You see her as someone you’d like to commit to, and can picture her being your girlfriend. Before you decide to get really serious, it’s imperative to cut through the endorphins and horniness you’re experiencing to analyze the facts of the relationship.
She may check lots of boxes by being attractive, smart, and funny, with good values and a solid job, but that’s not all she should bring to the table. You want to make sure she’s actually into you and not just using you for a variety of reasons. Yes, believe it or not, there are times when women use men for sex, security, status, money, spite and ego. Do you want to be that sucker? Absolutely not… so here’s how you avoid it.
When evaluating your relationship with this lucky lady, look for signs of her investing in you. You’re not a stock, so how can she “invest” in you? It’s currency based on time, energy, emotion and compromise. Consider these ten points:
- Is she putting time and effort into getting to know you and creating the foundation for a true relationship, or is she using you as a means to her ends?
- Do you see her compromising when you have a disagreement? Or do things always have to always be her way for her to cooperate?
- Does she consider you when making decisions, or are you an afterthought?
- Will she ask for your opinion, and does she actually care what it is?
- Has she put in time to get to know your family, friends and co-workers? Does she even care to?
- Does she accept you for who you are, or do you get the feeling she is trying to change you?
- Do all major events and holidays have to be spent with her family and friends, or is she open to splitting time between your respective circles?
- Do you find yourself consistently being the first one to reach out?
- Does she commit to future plans with you, and do you help to determine what those plans are?
- When you discuss the future, does she want to work with you towards shared goals, or is she solely focused on her own?
If you want to fairly analyze her level of investment in you, make sure you give her enough time to prove herself and adapt to the relationship. Let’s face it; being single is easy because you play by your own rules and don’t owe anyone anything. Getting into a new relationship requires some adaptation and adjustment, which could take a little time.
Remember, it’s okay if she fucks some of these things up in the beginning of your relationship. Just make sure you talk with her and let her know how it makes you feel, and what you’d like from her in the future. If she listens to you, adjusts her behavior, and invests in you, that’s a great sign of her commitment to you. Good luck out there, gents.
– Your Big Bro