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DATING

The Importance of Momentum in Dating

Momentum is something most easily visualized in professional sports. You see a team that’s behind in a game start to chip away at their opponent’s lead. They seemingly do everything right, and you can feel the tide turning. Next thing you know, your team has completed a massive comeback, as all of the energy shifted in their favor. It’s an intangible phenomenon that just tends to naturally happen, but it’s also something you can harness to help your relationship move to the next level during the early stages of dating.

Dating is entirely based on momentum. From first contact to saying vows in front of friends and family, the couple has generated momentum to continue their propulsion towards marriage. The best way to keep the momentum is to communicate and always make future plans together.

Some of the greatest pickup artists in the world preach three things:

    Always ensure a future means of contact
    Plan the next date while you’re on your current date
    Ask lots of questions and create multiple lines of simultaneous conversation

Doing these simple things create momentum in your growth as a couple. It begins to feel fluent and natural, which is exactly how a good relationship should feel. You get to know each other a bit more intimately, and you generate comfort faster. Sure, lots of factors can interrupt momentum, but if you’re seriously interested the onus is on you to keep things moving forward.

Studying for exams? Work trip? Vacation planned? Other ladies in the mix? No problem. Don’t let these factors determine your fate with your potential future wife. If you’re truly interested in pursuing her, put the other girls on hold. Keeping them around can only hurt your chances of developing something special with the one you’ve got your eyes on.

Studying for exams, or have a long work trip coming up? Check in with her, send her funny (or sexual) messages, and make a game plan for when your commitments will end. Long vacation planned? Face time with her. Send her pics of your trip. Have something planned for when you return home. Maybe arrange for her to pick you up at the airport so that she feels like she’s part of the experience. The anticipation of the next “date” will increase the sexual tension and ultimately create a more passionate next date.

The key here is to show effort, and continue communication. If you let too much time pass, you open yourself up to a few damaging factors:

    Another man gets her attention
    She believes your connection isn’t as strong as initially thought
    You lose momentum and other things start to take priority in her life

Note: this really only applies in the early stages of dating. Once you’ve established yourselves as an exclusive couple, most of this is irrelevant. It’s super important to consider these factors during the courting stage, where momentum is paramount.

In today’s dating world, she can meet the “next guy” while sitting on the can at 6am swiping through her Tinder feed. The more that passes without the relationship evolving, the lower the odds are that it ever reaches the next level. If you start to notice the progress stalling, try to give it a jump start by planning a fun, exciting date. If nothing changes after this, move on, because your connection has fizzled.

If you can harness momentum, things will fall into place, and you’ll develop a rhythm with your new girl. It won’t ever feel rushed or forced, and there won’t be much need for serious conversations like exclusivity, sex, meeting family/friends, etc. It’s like a snowball rolling down a hill, getting bigger with each rotation. Enjoy the ride!

⁃ Your Big Bro