You’re a Big Bear. The Most Valuable Lesson From Swingers

Approaching women is stressful, and the thought of rejection can paralyze the most confident guy. If you’re searching for a solution to this problem, look no further than the 1996 movie “Swingers.” The film followed a group of aspiring actors living in Los Angeles. Dating was a big part of flick, with some of the most sage advice coming from Vince Vaughn’s character, Trent. Swingers’ most important scene culminates with Trent teaching Mikey (Jon Favreau) the appropriate mindset required to approach a woman. Trent’s mantra is summarized by the line “you’re a big bear.” The most valuable lesson from Swingers demonstrates how a mindset adjustment can bring someone new levels of success. Enjoy it, and pay close attention!

“You’re a Big Bear”

Analyzing The Mindset

Sadly, society places attractive people on pedestals without considering other high value traits, like intelligence and honor. As a result, beautiful women are constantly courted by horny men, and these same women end up controlling the flirtatious interactions. The man is performing his best sales pitch, and the woman is deciding whether or not she will buy.

Undoubtedly, this frame makes many men nervous, as they are leaving their egos entirely vulnerable to rejection by a strange woman. Trent’s emphasis of self confidence, leaves you knowing you are powerful, valuable and completely in control of the interaction. By adjusting to this dominant frame, the fear of rejection dissipates and your more masculine characteristics shine through. No longer are you timidly asking for permission because you “need her”, but rather you’re addressing her as an equal. On top of this, you become way more attractive to your target.

Behaving Like a Big Bear

Now that you understand the mindset, it’s time to put it into action. For those serious about improving their dating results, visualize how this mindset shift will materialize in your behavior. The key to this is consistently demonstrating high value in your interactions with her. Whether texting, talking or sharing emotions, every action you take should come from a foundation of non-needy confidence. After all, if you treat her like a celebrity, she’ll treat you like a fan. Go get it, brother!

-Your Big Bro